The Year of No Fear

Oh no! Aaahh! Eeek!

Sometimes I feel like these words are always on the tip of my tongue. I’m waiting for
the next big freak out.

Ok, so I don’t always even think about what a sissy I’m being. It’s just like I actively
avoid a lot of things. Make jokes. Obviously over-exaggerate to play it off.
No, really. I like to laugh about my weeny mentality with scary movies. I just don’t
watch them. Refuse. Last time I watched a scary movie, I was scared of my own
bathroom for six months. I kept a night-light.

I was in college.

Anyway, I live in this self-mockery where I’m just chill with my lameness.

At the same time, I will feel a little twinge in my gut when I see people do daring
things. Like “Dude, I wish I could be like that.”

Like so many things in my brain, this all started with a book. I read My Year with
Eleanor by Noelle Hancock and was mesmerized by the idea of staring fear in the
face. This girl took to heart Eleanor Roosevelt’s words “Do something each day that
scares you” in order to push her limits and become the fearless gal she was in
college.

Something about her book really just broke through to me. First it was “I love her. I
want her as my new BFF.” It evolved into an admiration of her badassery. Finally it
has settled into a determination to challenge myself.
Eleanor could do it. Noelle could do it. And you know what? Julie can do it too.
Sure, I don’t have access to a bunch of resources like the first lady. And I do have the
freedom of no job, no kids like an unemployed-turned- freelance-journalist. But heck
with it. I’ve got a laundry list of unreasonable fears and the will to squash them!
So here it is. For some reason birthdays have a nice symmetry to a year-long
challenge. So even though I’m not turning a typical cool age like 21 or 30, I’m
starting on my birthday. 365 days of freaking myself out. Starting now.

Or yesterday. Punctuality has never been my strong suit.